One more sleep before Christmas

This dessert tray of Mom's is a sure sign of a holiday celebration.  I don't remember it ever seeing the light of day unless it was a holiday.  Mom didn't bake many cookies for Christmas but for some reason I couldn't stop baking them this year.  I think it was some kind of empty nest reaction to satisfy my "need" to stay busy.  Busy hands and all that. 

It's Christmas Eve and there is a very light dusting of snow on the ground this morning.  Not really enough to put me in the proper holiday spirit.  I've struggled a little bit this year getting into the spirit of things, swinging back and forth between HO HO HO and

I think I'm a bit better off than I have been in years past in that regard.  There is a great deal in my life to be happy about for which I am very grateful.  It's been easier to focus on that than on the other Bah Humbug stuff.  Merry Christmas all!

Happy Birthday Kathy!

Happy Birthday shoutout to Kathy!  It's her second New York birthday in this century :) 

I hope  you feel like a princess today.

They that go down to sea in ships

I forgot to add the words to the Fishermans' Prayer (107th Psalm).  The post was getting long and I guess I forgot, but if you ever find yourself in need of familiarity with this--don't say I didn't share it with you:

They that go down to the sea in ships, that do business in great waters;
These see the works of the LORD, and his wonders in the deep.
For he commandeth, and raiseth the stormy wind, which lifteth up the waves thereof.
They mount up to the heaven, they go down again to the depths: their soul is melted because of trouble.
They reel to and fro, and stagger like a drunken man, and are at their wits' end.
Then they cry unto the LORD in their trouble, and he bringeth them out of their distresses.
He maketh the storm a calm, so that the waves thereof are still.
Then are they glad because they be quiet; so he bringeth them unto their desired haven.

107:23 from the King James Bible for those detail oriented readers.  I got this from  http://kingjbible.com/psalms/107.htm

Bev's Funeral

As you know, Jim and I went to Gloucester yesterday to attend Bev's funeral Mass.  It seemed a little crazy to go out and back in one day just for this but we both felt very strongly that it was something we needed to do.  Tim and Emmy had informed us they weren't going to be able to go as they were in New Hampshire with Cathy, Chris and the children, so Tim said it was up to us to "represent".  This is a term I see a lot in the Good Morning Gloucester blog so I really felt right at home doing so. 

The Mass was at St. Ann's church and since I'd never been there, I was looking forward to being in this church as it was certainly the site of many historic events in Gloucester history.  You may have seen it in The Perfect Storm movie.  It was bright and sunny yesterday and our trip was easy, even with a 4 AM departure.  The Good Morning Gloucester blog informed me there was to be a lunar eclipse just before sunrise around 7 AM so I brought my camera just in case.  (PS I nodded off and missed it)

We arrived about a half hour prior to the service and entered the church to find Uncle Peter.  He was in deep discussion with Bev's family about a missing brother who was supposed to deliver the eulogy but didn't get off the train he was supposed to be on.  So his mind wasn't really on greeting us and we took him a little by surprise.  Regardless, we did get to talk with him a bit before he had to go attend to other duties.  He looks pretty good--handsome haircut, nice suit.  He is obviously very very sad and was a bit confused at the time which is very understandable.  He just can't imagine not seeing Bev every day.  He mentioned several times how good Bev had been to him.  Bev's daughter has been his rock and gave him lots of support during the Mass. 

The service was sparsely attended and there wasn't another soul there I knew besides Peter and Petey.  Three older people sat in front of us and talked loudly enough for us to plainly hear so we got the low-down on their observations.  They clearly knew Peter well but I don't know if they were Ryan family or not.  When there was some conversation that no one "from Peter's family" was there, Jim nearly tapped the guy on the shoulder to introduce ourselves to assure him the family was in attendance. 

The church is huge and fairly ornate.  The altar is very ornate, the floors are wooden planks I'm sure are very old.  The pews are the old fashioned straight back kind with the really short (in width) bench seat where you feel like you are only perched there instead of seated.  There are metal braces supporting the pews and holding them to the flooring and those braces appeared to be rather aged as well.  I tried to absorb the history of the place but failed a bit in that it's decorated for Advent and the sun shone through the windows just beautifully making it seem modern to me.  There weren't any maritime symbols that I noticed (and expected) other than a ship's bow type of holder for the statues of the Virgin Mary and Jesus on opposite sides of the altar. 

The service itself was most interesting.  The priest reminded me a great deal of John C. Reilly (from The Perfect Storm  and others) with the round face and closely cut beard.  He did not carry a Massachusetts accent and I found myself missing that.  I guess the missing brother did find his way to the church because when he was called up, he first seemed to chide Peter for not keeping him in the loop about Bev's condition (reprimand number one) then turned to the priest and requested the 107th Psalm which the poor priest was completely unprepared for.  And the guy just stood there and waited while the priest flipped through his books not saying anything about Bev.  It was an awkwardly long silence (reprimand number two) and if there had ever been any question in your mind that technology has not infiltrated every single pore of our lives, it was proven when someone on the altar whipped out his Smartphone to search the 107th Psalm for this guy.  I've never seen such a thing!  The old man in front of us whispered "The padre hasn't been here long enough to know the Fisherman's Prayer."   The brother left the altar after requesting the Psalm at some future time in memory of his sister.  And that was that until the priest invited everyone to Woodmore's in Essex ("Woodman's" several people corrected loudly--guy hasn't been here long enough to know).  I've never felt so sorry for a priest in my whole life.  We chuckled all the way home.

We needed to get back home and did not go to Essex.  We didn't know anyone anyhow and Peter had other business to attend to and shouldn't be needing to think about us.  Petey's daughter Savannah had a hard time staying still even to the point of joining her father up on the altar during the reading and peeking out from behind his leg --stinking cute but a little out of place.  Petey did a really nice job and he had his hands full stuck between taking care of two generations on his own.

So that's pretty much the report.  We represented and we were proud to.

This rainbow appeared off in the distance this afternoon during a brief snow shower.  It looked so bright down there at the end of the rainbow, that I was certain there must be a very large pot of gold out there waiting to be found.  This picture does not do it justice in any way but it will remind me of how wondrous it looked to me this last day of November.

I found my own little pot of gold this week with the Irish research.  Could you hear the Cathedral of Family History church bells ringing joyously?  I did.  I was finally able to unravel some family relationships with our Gloucestermen and officially add them to the family tree.  These are the McDonoughs--this branch of the family has been deviling me almost since I discovered them.  John Bentley (captain of the Schooner Paul Revere lost in 1882) married Mary Costello.  Mary's father Martin was Captain Bentley's cook on the Paul Revere.  Martin Costello was married to Julia so both Julia and Mary were left widowed after the sinking of the Paul Revere.  Mary died a few years after her husband but I hadn't found a trace of Julia's death and that was bothering me.

Finally I found Julia living in Boston in 1900 at the age of 72 and the census record indicated she had been the mother of 7 children and none remained alive by that time.  She was living with a niece.  Also in that household was the niece's sons, brother-in-law and nephew.  It was those people that I needed to tie to Julia (and therefore to us also).  Julia's death record indicated her maiden name was McDonough and I actually found her mother in Boston also!  It was a big tableful of puzzle pieces that didn't seem to fit together.  You keep going back to the table a move the pieces around, but can't quite make the one magical connection that allows all the others to fall into place.

Then I found the puzzle piece (a forgotten census record I uncovered in my paperwork set aside for later consideration) which allowed me to confirm and connect Julia and her niece as "our" Irish family members and open up a whole new group of families--all Irish fishermen, by the way. 

And I'm not doing the discovery justice in the telling either--please try to be happy for me and say hello to your new McDonough cousins:  the Costins and the Regans of Boston.  Let the bells ring with genealogical joy. 

Happy Birthday Chris!

I'm sure you remember that Mom would make us whatever kind of cake we wanted and our favorite dinner--such a simple offer that made the birthday kid feel pretty darn special.  I would always take white on white.  What about you?  Of course, those wild colored cakes were usually white on white too so it was win-win for me.  But I have a feeling Chris asked for chocolate.  Again, win-win. 

Happy Birthday Chris!

It was a simple, everyday act that brought back a flash flood of nostalgia.  Funny how such things always seem to take me by surprise.  I fixed myself coffee after dinner and put in some new flavored creamer.  I usually take my coffee black so the creamer made it very pretty -- and immediately reminded me of Mom.  Coffee with just cream is how Mom liked her coffee.  So I've been thinking of Mom tonight.

I found some pictures that reminded me of the things that seemed to make Mom "Mom" to me.

I really like this picture.  Sitting on the back stoop and hanging out in the backyard are fond memories.  You can see her beautiful nails and I imagine there's a cigarette in that other dropped hand.  Chris and Kathy are looking pretty happy here and Mom seems very relaxed.  And she should be I suppose.  Three married children, a couple of grandchildren...life was good I think.

Classic Mom.  Surrounded by her favorite things---her chair, the dog, her youngest, nice big pic of the first grandchild.  I also noticed the identical set up on the table--two coffee mugs with 2 ash trays.  Did she knit that sweater for herself?

Around the card table.  Those games make for very fond memories.  Look how happy everyone looks!

As I was writing this, we received horrible news about the death of a young adult in our lives.  Please go hug your kids and tell them you love them.  Right now.

Happy Anniversary Blog!

It's the fourth anniversary of this blog--doesn't really seem like that much time has gone by.  I'm a little time disoriented this weekend for a couple of reasons.  First, of course, is the time change (thank goodness those clocks have been turned back--my body was aching for it).  Another factor is that it feels a little bit like "Empty Nest Take 2" since Kathy moved to her own place this week!  I'm very happy for her and expect that the new job and apartment will help get things back to something more normal for her.

But perhaps the biggest reason the the time disorientation is that I've just finished a book that Brenda loaned me called What Alice Forgot.  It's about a woman who gets knocked in the head and loses the memory of the last 10 years of her life.  In that 10 years, her children were born and she separated from her husband.  But she is living life as it had been 10 years prior when she was newly pregnant with her first child.  Brenda gave me the book yesterday and I finished it today.  I haven't done that in ages--no book has attached itself to me like that in a long time and neither have I had the "empty" time available to do nothing much more than read.
It was delightful to spend the day in this manner--lost in time.

Ten years ago, we were all still reeling from the Sept 11 terrorist attacks.  We didn't yet know that Mom was sick.  Aiden was a baby.  Amy was in 8th grade.  You get the idea.  Imagine waking up and thinking it was 10 years ago, but your body had still aged!  As with the characters in the book, sometimes we change in that amount of time.  Reading the book, you have to wonder about the person you were 10 years ago vs the person you are today.  Hmmmmm. 

Oh well, guess I'll just go watch 60 Minutes.  That Andy Rooney is a character........what did you say?  Who left the show and died this week?????

 

Seven Degrees of Separation

Maybe you are familiar with the theory that people are separated by only seven degrees in relationships--this is terribly over simplified but applies in this little story.  Hang in there with me.

It's Ryan's 20th birthday today (Happy Birthday buddy) and that also makes it the 20th anniversary of the Perfect Storm.  We all know the story of the Perfect Storm as told in the book and the movie.  Supposedly the book provided the most accurate description of what it must be like to drown in stormy seas written to date. I read it because I was curious since we have ancestors who have perished in similar circumstances.  I don't know if Sebastian Junger hit the nail on the head with that part of the book, but I believe it's generally accepted as an accurate portrayal of the tragic events of that storm.

I was so relieved when the movie seemed to nail the Gloucester culture.  At the time, I was blissfully unaware of the drama unfolding in Gloucester and several hundred miles out to sea.  But the movie brought the event into everyone's frame of reference.  Hasn't the term "perfect storm" become part of the common lexicon?  Now Ryan shares this anniversary with Gloucester in a unique way.

While we were in Gloucester, we met a new Ryan cousin.  Bob Ryan runs the Ryan and Wood Distillery and he is our 2nd cousin.  We share great grandfather William H. Ryan.  William's grandsons included Grampie, Everett (Bob's grandfather) and John (Uncle Jack) among others.  In talking with Bob, I learned that Uncle Jack once owned Gloucester Ice and Cold Storage and Cape Pond Ice (!!) .  As you know, Cape Pond Ice appears in the movie and experienced a rejuvenated business presence as a result of the movie.  And our history includes Cape Pond Ice!!!  I am still researching the exact details but I've found enough to verify at least this much. 

Seven degrees of separation from Ryan's birth 20 years ago backwards to the beginning of Cape Pond Ice! How "cool" is that?

Update from Gloucester

We had a great weekend in Gloucester.  We got to meet and hug the babies!  They turned 4 months old while we were there and they are just beautiful.  They are distinctly their own selves.  Claire is smaller but holds herself up on her legs.  She makes delicate little noises and gestures.  He makes the most expressive "O" with his lips when he is talking.  He's bigger and definitely looks different from Claire.  It was great fun meeting them.

We were allowed to take Julia with us for the morning and we explored a new walking trail.  She's been there with her Ooma and Oopa and warned us we needed to watch out for the goose poop.  She was right.  We had lunch at Stage Fort Park and Julia introduced us to the playground equipment.

We got to spend extra time with Tim at the Elks.  He introduced us to some of his friends and some guys that knew Dad "back in the day".  One guy said they would never have guessed that Dad would become a professor based on what he remembered about Dad as a youngster.  I guess a bunch of them piled into a car and drove to Salem one night and went knocking on random doors.  Can you imagine Dad doing this?  Apparently one of his teachers got some kind of brand new Cadillac that Dad ended up driving around.  No one knew how that happened.  It was very cool meeting some of the Gloucester old timers.  Tim kept calling me his "oldest niece from his real brother".  We were sitting in the corner at the Elks club having our lunch and I could hear Paddy Ryan's name bouncing its way around the bar. 

We didn't see Peter or Kevin but their stories haven't changed much since last spring.  Cathy looks great and Chris' plumbing business is going well.  The weather was beautiful and it was a grand way to spend Emancipation Day!

Stroll Back in Time to Ellicottville NY

Recently I've found some really cool newspaper articles that are helping to fill in the pictures of the lives of our Nevins ancestors.  I thought you'd enjoy seeing them.  It is so COOL finding this stuff and I've been wasting way too time on this--but, honestly it's not wasted and it could never be too much time to find these tidbits.

Marriage announcement for our great grandparents Henry and Caroline Nevins as it appeared in the Ellicottville paper The Post Wed Sept 25 1901.  Notice they were married on a weekday morning. 

John Nevins is Henry's father and our great great grandfather.  I am wondering how innovative this was or perhaps not at all for the time.  From The Post Wed Oct 5 1898.

I love this one!  Mary with the black eye is Henry's older sister.  One of our contemporary Nevins cousins remembers meeting her and says she was a "flamboyant dresser".  Nanny said Mary became an RN later in life and lived with her brother after their parents died.  Sounds like a character I should be researching further, especially as I don't have her death information yet.  From The Post June 14 1905.

And, even though it's pretty hard to pick out my favorite little tidbit, the following is certainly in the top 3:

Christopher Fisher is our great great grand uncle (Julia Nevins brother and Henry's uncle).  Looks like he lost his goose Christmas night and was finally anxious enough to put an ad in the Ellicottville American Union sometime around Jan 15 1862.  Makes you wonder if the goose ran off to join the Union Army. 

Pizza and Wings

I thought you might enjoy these excerpts from Amy's essay about the differences between the families of her parents.  It was written six years ago and, after re-reading it, I have to say my little girl was pretty observant!

On the other hand, you have my mom's side.  These are the Ryans.  On the scale of relatives (not like there is one, but I just made it  up), they are on complete opposite ends.  The trip to the Ryans is usually about an hour (less the way my dad drives bur that is besides the point).  When we get there, 16 people are sitting around, ont he couch, the chairs of the ground and just kind of acknowledge you and go back to what they were talking about before.  "So what were you saying?" is usually our welcome when we get there.  It is a well know fact that my family is expected to join in the conversation when they have something to add.  If we do not, we just sit there and wait until the right time to laugh.......It seems that all the Ryans do is go out to dinner and leave me to baby-sit the kids.  This is not that bad because there are only four children and my brother helps me.

On the Ryan side, however, they almost never make their own food.  It's always "I'll order the pizza." It is not like I am complaining; I always get wings out the deal.

It is amazing how different two families can be and how normal I turned out to be.

I don't really have any evidence of this but I think the Nevins and the Flynns were probably similarly different.  And I feel very confident in noting that the Flynns and the Ryans were VERY different.  And we're all normal.  More or less.....Right?

Whoosh!

That was the sound of summer slamming the door on us and fall rushing in.  Which is what seems to have happened in the last 24 hours or so.  A little bit like Tim going off as a married adult when I still remember being there at his birth.  Sigh.  Seemed like it was only a few weeks in between. 

I put the pictures of Tim's wedding on Facebook so most of you have probably seen them, but just in case you haven't:


Enjoy.  I didn't put Heather and Amanda's album on Facebook because there are kids in those pictures and I don't know how each parent would feel about having those pictures out there.  Yep, that's me....Ms. Sensitive.  What do you mean you don't recognize that?!?!?!

We had a great time in Erie last weekend.  Got to dip my feet in Lake Erie--and I could actually see the bottom!  And it didn't smell--contrary to my memories of swimming lessons so many years ago in Lake Erie.  Now, Amy tells me it's HER Lake Erie.  Her turn--I'm glad it's got a better reputation now. 

We did some shopping and celebrated Jim's birthday at Quaker Steak and Lube.  Just right for his birthday!  We are hoping to have my birthday dinner in Gloucester.  NOT at any place with LUBE in it's name.  And I expect to be able to hug babies!!!  Can't think of a better way to have a birthday.

Birthday shout outs to Jess and Taylor this last week.  Hope your day was great.  Whoosh!

Congratulations are in order!

Despite the weather, it was a great day for Heather and Amanda and those who love them.  This may sound a little like a fuddy-duddy (but I'm the old aunt so I guess that applies anyhow) but since this occasion was kind of a landmark for New York State as well as for me, I'm very grateful I could share it with family.  I wouldn't want it any other way.

Thank you Jess, Amanda and Taylor for allowing your Mom to "share" the table with us for a while.  I don't know about any of you, but I felt her presence very strongly yesterday.  She is happy for you all.



Welcome to a crazy family, Heather!

Blessed Baptisms

I see on my old friend Facebook, Calvin and Claire are being baptized today so I thought you might enjoy this slideshow of pictures I gathered up to celebrate Tessa's baptism.


Indeed, we are very lucky!  Enjoy your trip down memory lane.

Wild weekend

We've had a heck of a weekend.  Friday afternoon we drove to Brooklyn for Jim's niece's wedding.  It was held in a TV/Movie studio called Steiner Studios--it was like pulling into one of those old time studio lots with the big overhead sign and the gate that has to be raised after you are deemed worthy of entry.  The wedding was held on the rooftop of Studio 6 as the sun went down and the city lights began to twinkle.

It was like the bride and groom looked into my heart and said "How can we do this to maximize Patty Anne's raw emotions?"  It was a Glee episode not unlike the episode where Finn's mother and Kurt's father get married. The groom and the wedding party broke into Queen's Somebody To Love which the bride finished solo on the arms of her parents.  THEN (as if that wasn't enough to reduce me to tears) the celebrant honored the ancestors and conducted a traditional Celtic tying the knot ceremony.  I'm not even going to share the whole "mother's last kiss" business because I still can't think about that without melting.  Sigh.  Then we got in the car and drove home by 4 AM. 

Then because we hadn't put enough miles on the car, we decided to take a ride to Cooperstown on Sunday.  There was a regatta on the lake

There was a hidden garden

And there were butterflies by the lake

Wild times and Wildlife all in one weekend.  It was great!

Happy Birthday Mom

Circa 1953 when she must have been about 19

Ceiling: 1 Patty Anne: 0

Jim's field hockey field

The water is out of bounds -- see the lines?

OK, I'm down by 1 and we haven't even had a full day of school yet!

Every now and again, we (and by that I mean ME) have to make new rules around the house.  I'm sure it's the same at your house.  Last week, Jim took the air conditioners and the fans from the windows and put them away.  It wasn't even September yet, but I could see some sense in taking the air conditioners out. I mean, winter seems to come along the same week as the Walton Fair every year.  But not the fans!  I usually take that stuff out at the end of September but keep the fans on hand.  Sure enough, we (and by that I mean I) had to drag the fans out again last night.  Yikes it was humid!


So here's the new rule:  The fans can be put away when I stop shaving my legs with the straight razor for purposes of wearing shorts.  There.

My new "rule" for the upcoming school year is based on the Staples Back to School supply commercials.  There's an elementary teacher needing glitter and tape that sticks; a music teacher singing about denim needs; and a gym teacher swinging down from the ceiling with a jump drive.  He says he doesn't know what a jump drive is, but those kids are going to be jumping.  He tells us that our kids will be having "a year long tug-of-war with the ceiling".  And therein lies my new daily motto.

I will face each crazy new initiative or state guideline or administrative directive with the resolve it takes to play tug-of-war with the ceiling.  For some of these challenges, I may decide to just bat the rope to the side and move forward.  I may decide to climb that rope (however long it takes) just to touch the ceiling.  Seems like a logical enough motto for my 33rd year of teaching.

Last Rose of Summer

I guess these are my last roses of summer 2011.  This is a rose bush I don't pay too much attention to but the pink flowers really "popped" in the hours after the winds and rains from Hurricane Irene passed our way.  I am impressed by their resiliency, especially since they are basically neglected.

Labor Day weekend always presents an opportunity to think about the past summer.  "What summer?" is my first thought, but that's just because I haven't really stopped to think about the last 12 weeks or so.  It's been filled with family events (a Long Island wedding, Pam's shower); home improvement projects; visits from family; Charlotte NC; and generally more relaxed days and nights.  It's hard to see it go.  I love the fall but it's hard to say good bye to summer.

Today I had the chance to participate in some hurricane relief efforts to benefit those east of us in Delaware County so badly affected by the storm.  It was a VERY small effort on my part and the level of appreciation far outweighed my actual participation.   The leader there made note that everyone deserves a chance to be part of the recovery.  It was good to help even in a very small way.  It was good to be reminded how generous people can be if you give them the chance.  New beginnings for the affected families as there is a new season on our doorstep.  Gotta admire that resiliency too. 

(Not the last rose of summer 2011)

There's your sign

This Lucy episode was on the TV at work yesterday (well, we had no internet so I had to do something).  The tech guy comes in to work on one of the laptops and says to me "So, what's her name again?"  YIKES! I'm not really sure when Lucy died, but it might be possible that she's been dead longer than he's been alive.

It seems to me that I've watched Lucy always--and I guess I have.  I remember Dad just getting so mad that we were watching Lucy again.  He didn't get it.  Neither did I--I mean, did he want us to learn humor from watching The Monkees instead?  And he hated them too, now that I think about it.  I have lots of Lucy videotapes and we've played them lots and lots of times.  At least my children know Lucy--and I daresay I'll bet they Love Lucy.

What television or pop culture icon will live on for our children the way Lucy has?  Will Seinfeld still be funny in 50 years?  Maybe--it was about everyday stuff so I guess it's possible.  Some of the characters have become part of culture:  Kramer and the Costanza wallet.  Will Lady Gaga still be Gaga in 2040? 


But still, I did not think there was much of anyone who didn't know Lucille Ball.  Or I Love Lucy.  He asked me when that show was on and I told him mid to late 50s and realized that makes the show just about my age. And there's your sign.  Guess I've got some 'splainin to do with anyone who doesn't Love Lucy.

The Nights are Long but the Years are Short

We have all experienced long long nights.  Usually it's because we are worried about something or someone.  Sometimes it's just because you can't sleep very well.  I had one of those long nights this past week.  Wide awake in the middle of the night thinking about everything from Irene to Ryan.  These are lyrics from the Red Hot Chili Peppers:  the nights are long but the years are short.

New parents often have long nights--and so do the children.  The kids can usually sleep it off during the next day, but the parents can't.  Parents of teenagers have REALLY long nights, especially that first summer they have their drivers license.  Curfews don't matter, only the sound of the car in the driveway brings peace and the chance for sleep.

But, at the same time, the years are very very short. As you know, we just celebrated the 20th anniversary of buying our house and Judy and Patrick celebrated their 20th annivarsary too.  Where did the time go?  The years are such brief images flashing by that they seem to blend into a seamless dream. 

Ryan went back to Cortland yesterday to start his sophomore year.  What a difference 12 months makes!  Ryan has grown so much in the last year and I'm very proud of him.  Much of the worry I lost sleep over a year ago melted into minor anxieties this summer.  He seems confident and happy and now I can rest easy.  Well, easier.  If only the damn hurricane winds and rain would stand down.........

August Weddings

August is a pretty popular wedding month for the Ryan clan.  Even though our upcoming nuptials will be fall events and even though June is supposed to be a favorite for brides, this month marks significant birthdays and weddings for us.

First of all, happy 20th anniversary to Judy and Patrick this year! 

I love this picture partly because Judy reminds me of Cinderella here with her foot out like that on the steps but mostly because of the kids on the sideline.  I love the little guy leaning over for (?) I-have-no-idea-what but I think it's Timmy and it's stinking cute.  That was a weekend for the record books so start your memory machines going because 1991 is the theme for the party next week!  Was this the last visit Nanny made north?

Most of us remember the Gloucester trip for Tim's wedding:

August 12 1967.  Happy 44th anniversary to Tim and Emmy this weekend!

I think Mom tried really hard with her special occasion dresses to be stylish and ahead of the curve but it seemed to me her choices were often a "miss".  Like this one. 

And I know we like to pretend this never happened, but Cathy's first wedding was in August and it was also memorable especially for this great picture.  It's too bad we can't really use it!

August 2000

Also, of course, we were married in August 1985.  And this is what you all looked like back in the day:

I love this picture, especially the wet spots and the blue cabinets

Yes, August is definitely an important month for the Ryan kids.  Good luck this week to Paula with all her Fair responsibilities.  Hope to see you all next week here for the party.  Maybe we can recreate the above.

Al Dente

I was cooking up some spaghetti tonight to have with homemade sauce and meatballs.  Someone said something that flipped my switch from "cooking dinner" to "What the hell?".  I turned back toward the stove and took a breath letting some of my irritation out through the spoon stirring the pasta.  And I flashed back to a story I wrote for Creative Writing while I was in college.

I used the imagery of the boiling pot of spaghetti as an anchor indicating stability over time.  Yeah, I know but my professor liked it and I was pretty proud of it then.  Might even be proud of it today if I could find it.  I had my hands on it about a year ago but I'm afraid it went out in one of the great purges.  (You know -- as an aside--sometimes I've been sorry that I threw something away but have never been sorry I kept something)

The scene was Mom cooking spaghetti for dinner at the stove in the kitchen at the house on Buffalo Street getting ready to tell us we were moving to Walton.  The story was told from Mom's perspective and came back to the comfort provided by menial tasks such as boiling pasta.

Remember that kitchen?  It was a pretty great kitchen--that house was actually pretty cool for a lot of reasons.  The picnic table  tucked right into that subby hole and the 8 of us fit there pretty well.  Most vividly I remember the dinnertime discussion about Chris' knee surgery.

Anyhow. looking into that pot today and flashing back on the general theme of that story immediately calmed me down.  Not much has changed over the years about preparing store bought pasta so I'm pretty much doing what Mom did.  And there's great comfort in that alone. 

Happy Birthday

1989 Dad loved a parade!  This is one of my favorites.

Way Back Machine

Remember the footbridge in Silver Creek?  There's a new group on Facebook called Silver Creek & Beyond with a whole bunch of pictures of new and old Silver Creek.  Boy, did it bring back a flood of memories!  There are lots of comments --most seem to be from people younger than I, but that's OK because I recognize many of the downtown buildings even after all this time.  I know you don't all remember such things, but let me throw a few at the rest of you and see what you remember:

Wright's store!  It was such a treat to have a little money in your pocket so you could go down there for soda or other goodies.  Chris, did you work there for a bit?  It was the last vestige before going down that footbridge into town.  The footbridge is gone now but the memories for many linger.

The Babcock Street School.  Many comments on Facebook talk about having Mrs. Rocker for kindergarten, which I did as well.  Do you remember your elementary teachers?  Mrs. Rocker, Mrs. Millard, Mrs. Smith (I think), Mrs. Lesso, Mrs. Moore (who lived across the street from where we used to live on Olive St), Mrs. Langer and Miss Sullivan.  The Babcock Street School was apartments last time I drove through there.  Someone is cooking zucchini in my kindergarten nap time area!

How about Costa's?  Best pizza ever!  What was the name of that bar Dad used to take us to across from Petris at the bottom of that hill?  I remember practicing "the twist" while my ginger ale waited for me at the table.  How about walking from Old Main to church school every Tuesday afternoon?  Can you imagine that happening today?  Not so much.

Roof's Restaurant with Weenie?  How much he loved Hole-Parker Funeral Home?  I didn't get that joke for the longest time..........I was a late bloomer.

I think I've taken you all down this path before but these pictures really brought back picture-perfect memories I wanted to share with anyone else who might remember.  You might enjoy the Silver Creek & Beyond group as well.  Enjoy your ride in the Way Back Machine (remember that?)

Home Improvement Dalpiaz Style

Wow!  Sorry I've been away so long.  As most of you know, we travelled to Long Island for a wedding Friday July 15.  Amy was able to join us!  The four of us haven't been together in such a long time, this was really sweet (but short).  Aren't we something when we are all cleaned up? 

And, as most of you know, Kathleen and Nick followed us back upstate on Monday to stay with us for the week.  Nick helped Jim get the Mustang purring, we went on a little Finger Lake Wine Tour, had a visit with the Moore contingent, and made up our own Covered Bridge tour.  Busy week and I've stretched my ability to be social to its absolute limit. 

To prepare for Kathleen and Nick's visit, I decided we needed a little home improvement.  There was some ripped wallpaper that needed to be covered or repaired.  I chose to cover the blemish (typical problem solving technique for me).  It was a two day project.  The first day was Easter Sunday and the second day was Thurs July 14 (Bastille Day and Tessa's birthday).  Note above that July 14 was the last possible completion opportunity before the fun began on Friday July 15. 

See?  No visible blemish (well, unless you look too closely at the paint job).  Looks great and I learned that re-hanging those pictures all at one time isn't as artistic as it seemed when it evolved over the years. 

So it goes with us.  We only start such projects under some kind of deadline and then learn a whole lot about what we don't know.  Kind of like parenting--hang in here with me.  I was listening to a radio show discussing parenting from the viewpoint of economists.  It was more interesting than I am able to make it sound here.  Of course, child rearing can't really be quantified like a bank account but one interesting question arose that I've been pondering:  Why did you want to be a parent (if you did)?  All those miles on the road between here and Long Island and I still don't have a good response for that.  Why?  I knew I wanted children, but I don't know why I wanted children.  Then we tried it:  under a 9 month deadline only to learn a whole lot about what we don't know.  Still learning.

Hot in Harpursville

Who Knew?  Jim was doing some cleaning the other day (no, that's not the "who knew" part) and came across this picture of himself with Betty White!

He marched with the McDonald's All American band in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade--I'm thinking this is around 1971 or 72.  The other kid is the other New York state participant.  Jim can't remember the one with the tiara.   IMDB says Paul Lavalle was one of America's best known bandmasters and conductors.  (Who knew?)

At the time, Betty White would have been better known as Sue Ann Nivens from the Mary Tyler Moore show.  Look at that posture:  shoulders back, bosom forward.  We could all take a lesson. 

Anne Marie Flynn Ryan 1933-2002

I am missing Mom a great deal today.  I think she would have enjoyed hearing about the Charlotte trip.  One of the best times I ever had with Mom was one of those trips to Toronto.  I had a haircut experience yesterday that would have made her smile, I'm sure.  I guess you already know it isn't usually the big things that bring Mom to mind, but the little everyday things like haircuts. 

Anyhow, here are some pictures I thought you might like even though I think you have seen them before.

The famous blue dress in black and white.  I think this was before their own Toronto trip.   Imagine how much they were looking forward to that!

A day that was a LONG time coming

Not the most flattering picture of Mom but they all look so happy.

So they say "Rest in Peace" which is a very comforting thought for those of us left behind, but how could she possibly rest in peace rejoining her parents, her grandparents and Mary Jane?  She can meet grandparents she never knew (Grampie and Mary Brown).  How peaceful can it really be?

Whoooo, Me??  NASCAR??

We've been in Charlotte North Carolina for the past few days.  That city is all NASCAR all the time--and I don't mean maybe.  We went to the NASCAR Hall of Fame and Museum, the Speedway, a NASCAR Art Museum and Hendrick shop.  Honestly it was interesting even for me.  I nearly lost it when we pulled up to the Art Museum but even that was intriguing because the artist was on site and spent some time talking to us about his career and various interests.  What sealed it was that he designed the uniforms, cars etc for Talladega Nights so I had fun sharing that with Ryan.  No doubt the effect NASCAR has on the economy of that city.

We were also taken to some more cultural destinations like the Levine Museum of the New South where I was reminded the War never ended for many in the south.  It was crushingly southern.  We went to the Raptor center and watched these two owls do a little show for us.  We also went to the Olympic training site for whitewater rafting--a man made course which looked super cool.  They also had rock climbing and sip lines.  The school trips would really dig it big time if you could ever get the Boards of Education to agree.  

We got somewhat educated in some hotel idiosyncrasies.  Our Charlotte hotel had the lights embedded in the bathroom mirrors--along with a TV for your viewing pleasure while performing your bathroom rituals.  Never had such an amenity before.  We stayed in Winchester one night and that room had a full blown jacuzzi right next to the bed inside the room.  I really need to get out more.  

Happy Birthdays

Happy Birthday Judy--do you remember this?  I am pretty sure it was a celebration of your birthday in 2000.  This is memorable in part because Judy just fell flat out of her chair that evening.  Out of nowhere and with nothing pushing her --she just fell out of that chair!

And welcome to the world Calvin Warde and Claire Warde!  In case you are wondering, these babies are our first cousins once removed--if you are one of my siblings.  For the "kids" like Jess, Amanda, Taylor, Tim, Kevin, Bill, Ryan, or Matthew--the babies are your second cousins.  So happy to hear the good news and thinking about Cathy and Chris today.

Give us a D...Give us an A...Give us a D....What's that spell?

Can you find your father in this picture?

I have this labeled as taken in 1945 which matches right up with what I figure are Dad's high school years.  I guess he came by his Bonaventure cheering position honestly!  And our cheerleaders Kathy Paula and Mary Jane's pom poms didn't fall far from the tree.  There's a 1945 Gloucester High yearbook available on eBay that I expect includes Dad.  They want $65 for it (!) which is too rich for my blood especially considering we probably trashed them when we cleaned out the house.  Guess we should have been more on top of that at the time but that 1945 Gloucester yearbook has been on sale for several weeks now (no wonder at $65).

Happy Father's Day to all our dads out there.  Sure is a different experience today than it was in the past.

More about those Franciscan brothers

I guess I'm not the only one interested in the story of the twin friars:  See this NPR story.

Gotta Love Those Franciscans!

I recently saw a headline noting that twin 92 year old brothers died within hours of each other in Florida.  This intrigued me so I clicked the link and was delighted to see the tag line was Olean!  So, of course, I read more carefully and learned that these two men were Franciscan priests who served many years together at St. Bonaventure.  I was especially tickled by this article from the Buffalo News.  It appears that these two were quite the cards and I couldn't help but smile as I read the article.  It made me think that if I were ever to have to be a priest, I would choose to be Franciscan.  I remember Mom and Dad telling some great stories especially about Fr. Crispin.  It looks like these two were on campus during at least some of the years that Mom and Dad were there so I am guessing some of their stories may actually have been about them!

This is at our kitchen table prior to Judy's wedding.  Note the (usual) table decorations!  Fr. Crispin came all the way to Walton to perform weddings for Kathy, Judy and I.  I can't remember if Paula's was conducted by Fr. Crispin or not but it was always fun to have the out of town wedding guests kind of gasp at his laid back behavior (or worse if he drove back to the rectory after sitting at our kitchen table for a few hours).  We also could reassure our guests that even though it was a Catholic wedding, it was a Franciscan style Mass!  Short and sweet and to the point.

He obviously had a long history with our family and I was sad to learn that he died when his oxygen ignited from a lit cigarette.  I see the same smile in these pictures taken 34 years apart.  Gotta love those Franciscans!

This is what remains of my chocolate malt from Sonic after sitting in my closed car for about 4 hours in low 60 degree weather.  I hadn't had very much of it before I had to leave it behind in the car for what turned out to be several hours so the chocolate malt ice cream mixture melted into a liquid mess.  But the "whipped cream" didn't change shape or texture one little bit.  It is very disturbing to think that this stuff didn't disintegrate AT ALL -- even when I dumped it down the disposal--it was still very cohesive and perfectly formed.  Really makes you wonder what it is made of.  I thought about looking it up but I don't think I want to know and I certainly don't want to burden you with that knowledge. 

When I think of our childhood, sometimes I think about all those commonplace every day habits of the adults in our lives that are now considered unhealthy or even dangerous.  Leaving meat out on the counter for hours and hours; full fat milk; no use of seat restraints or car seats--the list could go on and on.  We have been well trained in different habits, but it seems to me that no unhealthy or dangerous habit that Mom and Dad may have exposed us to could possibly be as scary as this blob of white.

Look at what someone sent me.

Don't remember this night, but that is not a surprise. Paula?

This time of year is a constant reminder of college graduation.  While I don't really have a clear memory of my own, there are pictures and documents to prove I really did graduate as an undergrad and with my Masters from Geneseo.  The people on my floor are gathering together this summer at the old stomping grounds for a reunion--all these years later!  

I think this is Dad's St. Bonaventure graduation and he's here with his mom to the far left, Uncle Peter to the far right and his Aunt Bud (Viola Ryan).  Dad seemed especially fond of Aunt Bud and I've been working to research her life recently -- with very little luck so far.  Apparently she carried on a long term affair with a married man and never married herself.  I have a note that she may have died in 1957 which would have only been a couple of years after this picture was taken.

Ryan has finished his first year at Cortland and has moved back "home" (it's still home here in Harpursville) for him.  Makes me think of all the changes in the last year or so.  One year ago, Jim was not retired; Kathy was in Florida; Ryan hadn't graduated from high school yet.  WOW!  Within a year after college graduation, Mom got her drivers license, a husband and was pregnant with her first child.  WOW!