I just love this picture of Mom at Niagara Falls in 1943 (67 years ago this month!!)  I remember my first trip to Niagara Falls--I think Tim or Peter was with us.  I recall thinking it must be raining but of course it wasn't!  I realized Niagara Falls was a big deal but I can't say I remember anything else much about that time.  I've been there a couple of other times but my favorite was the trip we took as a family a few years ago.  We got on the "Maid of the Mist" the first run of the day and there weren't many others on the boat with us so it was nice a relaxed.  We had dinner at a very nice restaurant which provided service we still talk about today!  It was a great trip.  I hope this was for Mom too. 

Lesson from 1972 ... give or take a year

I'm taking a great personal risk here by posting this picture.  The 43rd Grape Festival was held in Silver Creek this past weekend and I was reminded of my own small footprint in the history of Festival of Grapes. 

My recollection is that this was the first time the Festival held a "Queen" contest which I decided to enter.  I have no idea what I was thinking--perhaps I was thinking that I might actually do OK since it didn't seem like too many people were entering so my chances were better.  Entrants may have had to write an essay and there was an interview process as part of the selection.  The interviews were held in a restaurant meeting room out on Route 5/20 near Sunset Bay.  I was thrilled to learn I'd made the cut and was one of the final 10 contestants. 

For the BIG day, we had to dress (see above) and present a speech.  I forget the topic but I remember I took a bit of an odd road through that speech in addressing the assigned topic.  I'm pretty sure I made God a major player in this heartfelt presentation addressing how I would make the world a better place or something equally 1972.  I worked hard on writing and memorizing this oral representation of the future queen.

Meanwhile, Mom and Jean were scheming about my physical presentation.  The dress is something from Jean's closet and the makeup was also courtesy of Jean.  I knew this wasn't "me" and I didn't really like the mascara and the hairspray and I think there's a bow in my hair.  Of course, I needed to wear my POW bracelet which I guess was a weak effort to retain a little bit of authority over my own body at that point because the Good Lord knows (see, he really was part of this story) I had no other control over Hurricane Jean.  I don't know if Mom was similarly bowled over but I like to think so. 

I made the final 10 on the interview and was disappointed to learn that late entrants had been allowed due to the small field of contestants.  The BIG DAY was held in the auditorium of the Main Street School.  I remember being on the stage making my prepared speech and tripping up on my words.  And I clearly recall Dad's wince and "damn it" hand gesture from his seat in the audience.  I had disappointed him and he made it obvious.  If nothing else had sealed the deal for me that this had been a very bad idea on my part, that "damn it" swing of his fist across his chest permanently placed this episode in the "Please-can-we-just-forget-this-forever" list we all keep. 

Of course I did not bring home the Grape crown--one of the late entrants did.  I thought that was really unfair.  I'd been dressed out like a Thanksgiving turkey and not lived up to my Dad's expectations --could it really get any worse?  Yes, the winner wasn't a fair and square entrant.  No wonder I've  hidden that picture from the general public for all these years. 

But I've put it out there to serve as a reminder to remain true to yourself. 

It's not what you say...

"It's not what you say but how you say it."

How many times did we hear that? I have been thinking about the things Mom and Dad (mostly Dad) used to say to us when we were young. I remember thinking - that is sooooo stupid.

Well, I now understand those things and actually find myself telling the boys the same things (OH GOD!)

I guess I just wanted to share my thoughts with you and hope that we all learned from Mom and Dad's wisdom.

I also remember:

"You're getting there"

"If it is not cooked enough, I will put it back on the grill"

"Mothers don't want to know everything" -- I couldn't agree with this more.

"Everything will take care of itself" -- this was Weenies as I remember, but it has gotten me through some really rough times.

I am sure that there are dozens more, what do you remember?

FOOTBALL!

When the weather begins to turn from summer to fall, it's time to think about new seasonal activities.....FOOTBALL!  Of course, there's Weenie's football feats while at St. Bonaventure but mostly in my memory FOOTBALL meant betting with Weenie against the Bills and Mom.  I don't remember this document at all but it certainly shows Weenie's hand:

I just think this is hysterical.

And when we think FOOTBALL, let's not forget

For the first time in 17 years, we aren't taking a "First Day of School" picture.  I honestly don't know what happened; how my life got to this stage with me barely noticing the months and years go by.  You just put your head down and do what needs to get done day to day then POOF --it's gone and you don't need to put your head down except to regain your composure when it's time to leave the dorm room.

The house is too quiet and the afternoon hours drag their way into the evening hours.  The quiet has a different tone now that Amy's starting her life as a real grown up and Ryan has started college.  It's scary and it's deep and I suspect I'll get used to it.  In the past 17 years there have been times I said to myself  "My mother told me there'd be days like this" (she didn't) and "Someday I'm going to miss this" racket chaos and confusion.  How did we get to "Someday" so fast?

Ryan wanted to come home this first weekend; he and I both knew it was too soon.  It was one of those times when you do what's incredibly hard for you for their benefit and I told him I thought it wasn't a good idea.  When we discovered he was scheduled to work the entire weekend at the Mets, a lovely door labeled "Excuse" opened right up.

Ryan is adjusting really well to college and I'd misjudged his reasons for wanting to come home.  It healed my heart to see him and hear his stories about his classes, his room and his friends.  For these few days, we each got to judge the other's state of mind and the silence slipped away.  Taking him back was a joy since I knew he was happy, ready and able to start this next phase with confidence. 

I think I can face this opening day with this visit in my memory bank.  How ironic that this weekend was so healing yet it went against every single piece of advice given to parents of college students.  Sometimes you just have to go with what's in your heart in order to mend it. 

                                      

Happy Birthday Mom

This is one of my favorite pictures EVER. It was taken on Mom's birthday (I think in 1998) I know that this is a few days early, but this week is usually terribly busy for us, so here is my tribute.

First game is a win!

Both boys are both playing varsity soccer and the season started off well with a win over BG. Happy back to school!