Bev's Funeral

As you know, Jim and I went to Gloucester yesterday to attend Bev's funeral Mass.  It seemed a little crazy to go out and back in one day just for this but we both felt very strongly that it was something we needed to do.  Tim and Emmy had informed us they weren't going to be able to go as they were in New Hampshire with Cathy, Chris and the children, so Tim said it was up to us to "represent".  This is a term I see a lot in the Good Morning Gloucester blog so I really felt right at home doing so. 

The Mass was at St. Ann's church and since I'd never been there, I was looking forward to being in this church as it was certainly the site of many historic events in Gloucester history.  You may have seen it in The Perfect Storm movie.  It was bright and sunny yesterday and our trip was easy, even with a 4 AM departure.  The Good Morning Gloucester blog informed me there was to be a lunar eclipse just before sunrise around 7 AM so I brought my camera just in case.  (PS I nodded off and missed it)

We arrived about a half hour prior to the service and entered the church to find Uncle Peter.  He was in deep discussion with Bev's family about a missing brother who was supposed to deliver the eulogy but didn't get off the train he was supposed to be on.  So his mind wasn't really on greeting us and we took him a little by surprise.  Regardless, we did get to talk with him a bit before he had to go attend to other duties.  He looks pretty good--handsome haircut, nice suit.  He is obviously very very sad and was a bit confused at the time which is very understandable.  He just can't imagine not seeing Bev every day.  He mentioned several times how good Bev had been to him.  Bev's daughter has been his rock and gave him lots of support during the Mass. 

The service was sparsely attended and there wasn't another soul there I knew besides Peter and Petey.  Three older people sat in front of us and talked loudly enough for us to plainly hear so we got the low-down on their observations.  They clearly knew Peter well but I don't know if they were Ryan family or not.  When there was some conversation that no one "from Peter's family" was there, Jim nearly tapped the guy on the shoulder to introduce ourselves to assure him the family was in attendance. 

The church is huge and fairly ornate.  The altar is very ornate, the floors are wooden planks I'm sure are very old.  The pews are the old fashioned straight back kind with the really short (in width) bench seat where you feel like you are only perched there instead of seated.  There are metal braces supporting the pews and holding them to the flooring and those braces appeared to be rather aged as well.  I tried to absorb the history of the place but failed a bit in that it's decorated for Advent and the sun shone through the windows just beautifully making it seem modern to me.  There weren't any maritime symbols that I noticed (and expected) other than a ship's bow type of holder for the statues of the Virgin Mary and Jesus on opposite sides of the altar. 

The service itself was most interesting.  The priest reminded me a great deal of John C. Reilly (from The Perfect Storm  and others) with the round face and closely cut beard.  He did not carry a Massachusetts accent and I found myself missing that.  I guess the missing brother did find his way to the church because when he was called up, he first seemed to chide Peter for not keeping him in the loop about Bev's condition (reprimand number one) then turned to the priest and requested the 107th Psalm which the poor priest was completely unprepared for.  And the guy just stood there and waited while the priest flipped through his books not saying anything about Bev.  It was an awkwardly long silence (reprimand number two) and if there had ever been any question in your mind that technology has not infiltrated every single pore of our lives, it was proven when someone on the altar whipped out his Smartphone to search the 107th Psalm for this guy.  I've never seen such a thing!  The old man in front of us whispered "The padre hasn't been here long enough to know the Fisherman's Prayer."   The brother left the altar after requesting the Psalm at some future time in memory of his sister.  And that was that until the priest invited everyone to Woodmore's in Essex ("Woodman's" several people corrected loudly--guy hasn't been here long enough to know).  I've never felt so sorry for a priest in my whole life.  We chuckled all the way home.

We needed to get back home and did not go to Essex.  We didn't know anyone anyhow and Peter had other business to attend to and shouldn't be needing to think about us.  Petey's daughter Savannah had a hard time staying still even to the point of joining her father up on the altar during the reading and peeking out from behind his leg --stinking cute but a little out of place.  Petey did a really nice job and he had his hands full stuck between taking care of two generations on his own.

So that's pretty much the report.  We represented and we were proud to.

This rainbow appeared off in the distance this afternoon during a brief snow shower.  It looked so bright down there at the end of the rainbow, that I was certain there must be a very large pot of gold out there waiting to be found.  This picture does not do it justice in any way but it will remind me of how wondrous it looked to me this last day of November.

I found my own little pot of gold this week with the Irish research.  Could you hear the Cathedral of Family History church bells ringing joyously?  I did.  I was finally able to unravel some family relationships with our Gloucestermen and officially add them to the family tree.  These are the McDonoughs--this branch of the family has been deviling me almost since I discovered them.  John Bentley (captain of the Schooner Paul Revere lost in 1882) married Mary Costello.  Mary's father Martin was Captain Bentley's cook on the Paul Revere.  Martin Costello was married to Julia so both Julia and Mary were left widowed after the sinking of the Paul Revere.  Mary died a few years after her husband but I hadn't found a trace of Julia's death and that was bothering me.

Finally I found Julia living in Boston in 1900 at the age of 72 and the census record indicated she had been the mother of 7 children and none remained alive by that time.  She was living with a niece.  Also in that household was the niece's sons, brother-in-law and nephew.  It was those people that I needed to tie to Julia (and therefore to us also).  Julia's death record indicated her maiden name was McDonough and I actually found her mother in Boston also!  It was a big tableful of puzzle pieces that didn't seem to fit together.  You keep going back to the table a move the pieces around, but can't quite make the one magical connection that allows all the others to fall into place.

Then I found the puzzle piece (a forgotten census record I uncovered in my paperwork set aside for later consideration) which allowed me to confirm and connect Julia and her niece as "our" Irish family members and open up a whole new group of families--all Irish fishermen, by the way. 

And I'm not doing the discovery justice in the telling either--please try to be happy for me and say hello to your new McDonough cousins:  the Costins and the Regans of Boston.  Let the bells ring with genealogical joy. 

Happy Birthday Chris!

I'm sure you remember that Mom would make us whatever kind of cake we wanted and our favorite dinner--such a simple offer that made the birthday kid feel pretty darn special.  I would always take white on white.  What about you?  Of course, those wild colored cakes were usually white on white too so it was win-win for me.  But I have a feeling Chris asked for chocolate.  Again, win-win. 

Happy Birthday Chris!

It was a simple, everyday act that brought back a flash flood of nostalgia.  Funny how such things always seem to take me by surprise.  I fixed myself coffee after dinner and put in some new flavored creamer.  I usually take my coffee black so the creamer made it very pretty -- and immediately reminded me of Mom.  Coffee with just cream is how Mom liked her coffee.  So I've been thinking of Mom tonight.

I found some pictures that reminded me of the things that seemed to make Mom "Mom" to me.

I really like this picture.  Sitting on the back stoop and hanging out in the backyard are fond memories.  You can see her beautiful nails and I imagine there's a cigarette in that other dropped hand.  Chris and Kathy are looking pretty happy here and Mom seems very relaxed.  And she should be I suppose.  Three married children, a couple of grandchildren...life was good I think.

Classic Mom.  Surrounded by her favorite things---her chair, the dog, her youngest, nice big pic of the first grandchild.  I also noticed the identical set up on the table--two coffee mugs with 2 ash trays.  Did she knit that sweater for herself?

Around the card table.  Those games make for very fond memories.  Look how happy everyone looks!

As I was writing this, we received horrible news about the death of a young adult in our lives.  Please go hug your kids and tell them you love them.  Right now.

Happy Anniversary Blog!

It's the fourth anniversary of this blog--doesn't really seem like that much time has gone by.  I'm a little time disoriented this weekend for a couple of reasons.  First, of course, is the time change (thank goodness those clocks have been turned back--my body was aching for it).  Another factor is that it feels a little bit like "Empty Nest Take 2" since Kathy moved to her own place this week!  I'm very happy for her and expect that the new job and apartment will help get things back to something more normal for her.

But perhaps the biggest reason the the time disorientation is that I've just finished a book that Brenda loaned me called What Alice Forgot.  It's about a woman who gets knocked in the head and loses the memory of the last 10 years of her life.  In that 10 years, her children were born and she separated from her husband.  But she is living life as it had been 10 years prior when she was newly pregnant with her first child.  Brenda gave me the book yesterday and I finished it today.  I haven't done that in ages--no book has attached itself to me like that in a long time and neither have I had the "empty" time available to do nothing much more than read.
It was delightful to spend the day in this manner--lost in time.

Ten years ago, we were all still reeling from the Sept 11 terrorist attacks.  We didn't yet know that Mom was sick.  Aiden was a baby.  Amy was in 8th grade.  You get the idea.  Imagine waking up and thinking it was 10 years ago, but your body had still aged!  As with the characters in the book, sometimes we change in that amount of time.  Reading the book, you have to wonder about the person you were 10 years ago vs the person you are today.  Hmmmmm. 

Oh well, guess I'll just go watch 60 Minutes.  That Andy Rooney is a character........what did you say?  Who left the show and died this week?????

 

Seven Degrees of Separation

Maybe you are familiar with the theory that people are separated by only seven degrees in relationships--this is terribly over simplified but applies in this little story.  Hang in there with me.

It's Ryan's 20th birthday today (Happy Birthday buddy) and that also makes it the 20th anniversary of the Perfect Storm.  We all know the story of the Perfect Storm as told in the book and the movie.  Supposedly the book provided the most accurate description of what it must be like to drown in stormy seas written to date. I read it because I was curious since we have ancestors who have perished in similar circumstances.  I don't know if Sebastian Junger hit the nail on the head with that part of the book, but I believe it's generally accepted as an accurate portrayal of the tragic events of that storm.

I was so relieved when the movie seemed to nail the Gloucester culture.  At the time, I was blissfully unaware of the drama unfolding in Gloucester and several hundred miles out to sea.  But the movie brought the event into everyone's frame of reference.  Hasn't the term "perfect storm" become part of the common lexicon?  Now Ryan shares this anniversary with Gloucester in a unique way.

While we were in Gloucester, we met a new Ryan cousin.  Bob Ryan runs the Ryan and Wood Distillery and he is our 2nd cousin.  We share great grandfather William H. Ryan.  William's grandsons included Grampie, Everett (Bob's grandfather) and John (Uncle Jack) among others.  In talking with Bob, I learned that Uncle Jack once owned Gloucester Ice and Cold Storage and Cape Pond Ice (!!) .  As you know, Cape Pond Ice appears in the movie and experienced a rejuvenated business presence as a result of the movie.  And our history includes Cape Pond Ice!!!  I am still researching the exact details but I've found enough to verify at least this much. 

Seven degrees of separation from Ryan's birth 20 years ago backwards to the beginning of Cape Pond Ice! How "cool" is that?

Update from Gloucester

We had a great weekend in Gloucester.  We got to meet and hug the babies!  They turned 4 months old while we were there and they are just beautiful.  They are distinctly their own selves.  Claire is smaller but holds herself up on her legs.  She makes delicate little noises and gestures.  He makes the most expressive "O" with his lips when he is talking.  He's bigger and definitely looks different from Claire.  It was great fun meeting them.

We were allowed to take Julia with us for the morning and we explored a new walking trail.  She's been there with her Ooma and Oopa and warned us we needed to watch out for the goose poop.  She was right.  We had lunch at Stage Fort Park and Julia introduced us to the playground equipment.

We got to spend extra time with Tim at the Elks.  He introduced us to some of his friends and some guys that knew Dad "back in the day".  One guy said they would never have guessed that Dad would become a professor based on what he remembered about Dad as a youngster.  I guess a bunch of them piled into a car and drove to Salem one night and went knocking on random doors.  Can you imagine Dad doing this?  Apparently one of his teachers got some kind of brand new Cadillac that Dad ended up driving around.  No one knew how that happened.  It was very cool meeting some of the Gloucester old timers.  Tim kept calling me his "oldest niece from his real brother".  We were sitting in the corner at the Elks club having our lunch and I could hear Paddy Ryan's name bouncing its way around the bar. 

We didn't see Peter or Kevin but their stories haven't changed much since last spring.  Cathy looks great and Chris' plumbing business is going well.  The weather was beautiful and it was a grand way to spend Emancipation Day!