Welcome Emma O'Brien! We are happy to greet you into the world especially on Father's Day. My very favorite thing to do is to add to the family tree and this is my very favorite way to add to the family tree --into the future rather than from the past. Congratulations Bill and Amanda. I expect Paula will be adding a picture or two to this blog for all of us.
It's turning into a beautiful day. Father's Day is always a little dicey for me. I do not have warm fuzzy memories about Dad although I believe he did the very best he knew how to do. I believe he loved Mom through and through. In some of these home movies he seems genuinely happy but I have to admit I don't feel like this carried forward through the years of my memories of childhood.
But he always worked very hard to provide for us and tried the best he knew how. So much seemed to be based on how things were "supposed" to be -- it must have been very hard work to keep that up all those years with such a large family on such a small salary. In today's world, generally people give up and go on with their changed lives--it's too hard and too costly to personal lives.
But Dad's generation had different expectations. These probably came at the cost of personal goals and happiness. I can appreciate the price he must have paid to get us out into the world to be productive citizens. I don't know for sure if this is accurate to Dad's experience but it's what keeps me going on Father's Day.
Your perceptions are probably very different but somewhere along the way things must have been done very well as we all still get along, see each other and stay in touch. This speaks to the efforts Mom and Dad made raising their children. Happy Father's Day and Summer Solstice.
1 comment:
Father's Day being dicey... That's a very good way to put it. I fully agree with you on how Dad came across as maybe not really happy in his life. I also agree with you about how he and Mom must have done something very right in that we are all productive members of society, and we get along quite well. But I will tell you of two things that get me through Father's Day and other memories of Dad.
First, I was lucky to have worked with Dad when he was on the stage. He was a master at comedic timing and he really liked being out there performing. So I got to see him happy, really happy. I know that this was a gift, because he really challenged me when it came to being "loving". And I'm able to pull those memories out when I need them.
The second thing that makes me a little warm and fuzzy when I think of Dad were some letters he wrote to mom when she was in Florida tending to Weenie when he was dying. I found the letters when we were cleaning out the house after both Mom and Dad passed away. As I said they were from Dad to Mom, not really my business, I know. But I read them anyway. They showed a man very proud of his children, especially Judy. Judy was still living at home at the time, and he told Mom how great Judy was doing and how great company she was to him while Mom was away. He spoke very intimately, and lovingly to Mom. It was a side of him I never knew.
I'm sad that I never knew the man who wrote those letters (my children certainly didn't know him). I'm glad to know he was in there, and wish I knew before he died that he was that loving tender man, at least to Mom.
But I know now. I often wonder why we never knew that side of him. I pull those thoughts out when I think of the traditional feelings you are supposed to have on Father's Day.
The strange thing is, the men we girls chose to marry are all good, loving fathers who show their children everyday that they love them. (Even my ex, who isn't very good to me, loves our children). Were we just lucky? I don't think so, we had good, loving parents.
That is my perspective, strange as it may seem.
Post a Comment