Prom season throughout the years

What a joy to see Matthew's smile this morning when I checked my Facebook account:

I noticed he was surrounded by two cute girls with tiaras but Judy talked about getting his picture taken with all the girls from his class at the prom and I thought that's what this was.  Until I saw the crown.  Way to go King Matthew!  This is a GREAT picture and will bring warm wonderful memories for many years to come.

Which, of course, brought me around to thinking about proms.  Poor Mom and Dad with 5 girls and all those proms!  They weren't quite the EVENTS they sometimes are today with limos or after-prom all night parties, but they have always held a special place in high school memories. 

I had one prom experience in high school during my senior year in Walton.  Nanny made my dress for me, bless her.  I thought the green/yellow paisley pattern would be different enough from the typical prom dress that........I don't even know.  I just wanted it to be different.  I think it was.  Looking at it today, I don't know WHAT kind of impression it must have made.  What I do know is that Mom and Dad did not like Glenn one bit.  I think they were somewhat relieved when Kathy got asked to go with Jim Grotevant, a classmate of ours.  If I recall, Kathy had to make her arrangements late in the game. 

 Ruffled shirts were quite the style at the time.  Look how long my hair is!  This was taken outside the school.  Dad attended the prom, supposedly as part of his duties in his job but I know 100% that he needed to check the whole thing out (mostly Glenn).  About an hour after we sent Amy off on her first prom, I sat bolt upright panicked and wondering "How could I send my daughter off with some guy we don't even know?"  I'll give Dad the benefit of the doubt and assume his concerns were similar.  Consider it an early Father's Day gift to him.

This is a classic from 1976.  Of course, I don't have any personal memories of this but isn't this a great picture?  I think that dress Mary Jane is wearing made the rounds for various events.  I think I wore it to a wedding once. 

Prom season 60 (yes, 60) years ago.  I think you've seen this before. No ashtrays these days. Proms were a great deal more formal at the time--there are several dance cards left over from her dancing days.    I don't even know how kids today would fill out a dance card with those group "dances" out in the middle of the floor during today's dances.  Can you imagine?  Matthew and Susie, Kristine, Alice, Jennifer, Kaitlyn, Mallory, Lexie, Katie, Kiersten....I think you get the picture!

I've arranged several proms for Harpursville students and it's a big night for everyone--a tradition I hope lasts for many more generations of students.  Picturing Delaney, Tessa and Tylee right now......(see 1976 picture above!)

This is for Mary Jane.  I like to think she would have noticed the beauty in this too.

May 9 1996 was also a Thursday.  I have to admit that it's freaking me out a little bit to realize that 1996 is the same on the calendar as 2013 which was the same as 1979.  These are such pivotal years for me and they are falling into some kind of mystical alignment.  I'm sure that's some kind of message that I haven't yet been able to decipher.

So that means May 3 1996 was also a Friday.  Happy birthday to our Matthew! 17 is sweet.  Enjoy.

The cicadas are expecting to reappear this year on schedule with their own 17 year cycle, but I don't think that's the mystical connection I'm looking for.  Apparently the stock market has something like a 17 year cycle but I never think about that stuff.  That's about all I could find that comes on a 17 year rotation.  Insects and stocks.  Blech.

But being 17 years old is pretty cool.  That's a good year.  Often  students peak about that time athletically; they have or are getting driver's licenses; they might be earning enough pocket money to rent a limo for the prom; they might be anticipating graduation and the future.  I was 17 when I went off to Geneseo.  Now, I realize how young and naive I was.  At the time, I was keenly aware of my naivete but not of my youth in that great big world of academia and saloons (18 was the legal drinking age in those days).  It was a little bit of a struggle.

I was often the youngest in a group--perhaps by design to offset the role the oldest child plays within the family.  I was young going off to college; I was impossibly young when I started teaching (22!); I am the youngest in my groups of teacher friends.  But now I feel kind of alone and adrift since most of my friends have been enjoying retirement for a number of years now.  Yes, I have younger friends at work but being the oldest once again among the teacher family is not all it is cracked up to be.  Believe me.

So perhaps that is part of the lesson of the mystical 17 year cycle.  Mary Jane was gone too soon-- she was too young.  34 years old (by the way that's 17 x 2) seems an impossibly young age at which to be done on this Earth and sometimes I think we all feel kind of alone and adrift without her.  There's a hole that can never be filled except perhaps by the continuation of the family  with Jess, Sean, Aiden, Breyen, Delaney, Amanda, Heather, Taylor, Tim, Tess and Tylee. 

April 2013 Erie Report

I guess I didn't share my "Erie Report" from our recent visit out there so here you go!  Unfortunately we could only stay overnight but luckily Paula was available to go with us.  The weather wasn't wonderful, but I'm pretty sure that's not news to you.  We were surprised to see so much snow still on the ground as we headed east on Route 17. 

Upon arrival, we took Paula directly over to Tim and Pam's house--a really cute house on a very nice street. You may know they have a dog.  A kind of big dog.  You may know that dogs often seem attracted to me.  Sigh. 

Amy was working until later so Tim was strong-armed into taking us on a tour of his station.  It was great fun to listen to Tim and watch his obvious pride in his work.  We got onto one of the boats (that's probably not the right word) that Tim explained is 100% watertight so that if it capsizes it will upright itself within a short time.  He knew every single nook and cranny of that vessel.  It was built to withstand 30 foot waves which is hard to even imagine.

You can see the boat here.  Great picture Paula!

We picked Amy up from work and went off to a very nice dinner.

Jim's looking a little shell shocked here because the bartender felt the need to come out from behind his bar to come over to our table and chatise Jim for moving chairs.  None of us has any idea where that came from and it was very odd.  But they had very yummy lemonade martini type drinks.  Yummmmmm.  Just noticed it looks like some kind of ancient bird is rising from the top of Jim's head.  HAHAHA.  Phoenix rising!

Then we went to one of their favorite bars and watched the rest of the NCAA game.  Mike was able to join us there after he was done work so it was nice for us all to be together. 

On Sunday we were able to take a tour of the zoo with Amy.  This is always really interesting!  We even got to see a little bit of real live nature when Mr. Duck mounted Mrs. Duck for a little Sunday morning you-know-what.

It was a short visit but lots of fun.  It does our hearts good to see Tim and Amy spending time together along with Pam and Mike!

Along the way, we got into a discussion about what invention would we find it hard to live without--I said "access to the internet" and Paula said "my glasses" so now we have a running joke about living without glasses.  What invention do you think it would be difficult to live without?  That's a tough question!

A gift from Mary Jane

I was looking for a way to pay Mary Jane a tribute for her birthday this year so I started looking through some journals and letters.  I haven't looked at these in a long time and for good reason.  They usually make me cry.  But this time I found something that spoke to me a little differently than before. 

This is part of a letter I got from Mary Jane the summer before she died.

 I thought you might like to see the summer report on the girls.

"I feel as though there is something waiting out there for me to do.  I just have to find out what it is." are the words that struck me differently this time.  After Mary Jane died, it was a difficult time for all of us.  Recovery was a long long road and it was on that journey that I made a promise to do what I could to help others in little ways through tough times. 

In the years that followed I tried to pay special attention to colleagues and friends who might be struggling with illness or difficulties.  I felt it important to try and support them at times that perhaps others were not.  For example, people generally get lots of support and attention in the days immediately surrounding a funeral or accident, but not always in the long term leading up or following.  So I did what I could.  I believe those efforts were appreciated but not in ways that I hoped might make a difference.  In ways that I wished I'd had available to me throughout the tough days. 

But recently I've had an experience that I think might have accomplished a little bit of what I was aiming for.  A friend's mother was suffering from terminal cancer and she was not only the closest geographically (two doors down) but also the only surviving child so she carried a very heavy burden.  This time, I felt like maybe I did help in ways that eased the load for her just a little.  Finally after all this time, I felt I'd made a little difference for someone else who faced the unimaginable. 

This is part of an article written by columnist Dinah Eng who used to appear in the USA Today.  I had cut it out and tucked it into my "Mary Jane things".  Today I think it speaks to Mary Jane wanting to find that something out there that was hers to do.

Yet it is in that act of being there for another that we truly find ourselves. 

I can't say I've found myself but I can say with certainty that Mary Jane taught me a great deal in a short time.

In the illness or death of another, each of us has the opportunity to learn more about ourselves.  Perhaps that is a small part of what Mary Jane was meant to do.  I'd like to think she'd be pleased with that.

So Happy Birthday Mary Jane and thank you for the gift.

North by Northwest

And now with your Gloucester Report from Easter 2013, here's your sister........and her pictures!  We had another lovely visit with the Ryan side of the family this past weekend.  We arrived at dinner time on Good Friday and went right down to the Seaport Grille to meet up with Cathy and Chris.  And this is how we were greeted:

And immediately my heart was full.  And remained so for the rest of the trip.

Despite most everyone being struck by some kind of cold or flu, we were able to spend lots of time hugging babies and celebrating newfound talents.  Jim found a flute for Julia, bought it and presented it to her for Easter.  She loves it!  He gave her some initial tips for playing it and of course the flute got passed around to see who else can make any kind of noise come from it:

No lilting notes were to be heard.

We joined Tim at the Elks and found Uncle Peter as well!  Twice!  He couldn't get over that his birthday was on Easter Sunday.  Didn't remember that every happening before.  He's 73 now and looking pretty good.  The two of them drew some of the old Elks over to the table for intros and stories.  Oh, the stories!  It was hard for me to draw my eyes away from the spectacular view to pay appropriate attention to the conversation, but I think I faked it well enough.  We enjoyed the famous lobster roll for lunch on Monday.  Yummmm.  Really the best.  

It was decided that we'd go to the Bradford Tavern in Rowley for Easter dinner and it was GREAT!  I'd been thinking I'd like to suggest going out rather than preparing a holiday dinner so I was glad someone else came up with the idea.  It was very nice.  The kids were great.

Cathy enjoyed a Jelly Bean martini which was blue and we teased her about going red white and blue for her holiday drink selection.

Almost immediately Emmy asked when could we go to Ireland together and I said, "I don't know, when are we going Emmy?"  Looks like Galway in Setember!!!!  Can't believe it.  Still in the very early planning stages but I can't forget that Mom had just begun to plan her own trip when she discovered her cancer.  I don't want to wait. 

We stayed at the Cape Ann Marina where some of the Wicked Tuna boats dock.  Sure enough, we soon saw the owners working on

Of course, Jim stopped to talk and tell the captain he enjoyed the show.  I, on the other hand, paid homage to the Good Morning Gloucester bloggers by going into Bodin's Historic Photos and thanking Fred for his contributions to the blog.  We also went into an art show the blog was promoting that showed the photography of some of the bloggers so we could vote for our favorite.  

The weather was very pretty so I did get a few scenic shots in.  

We also did some cemetery stomping and I was able to get quite a bit of library research done.  It was a great visit.  When we spoke with Peter on Monday at the Elks Club, he kept going on about how the weather was going to be changing:  that the next day, the wind would be coming from the "Nawth Nawthwest--the worst.  I hate wind from the Nawth Nawthwest.  It's so COLD."  (Imagine it with the rough Gloucester accent) Man, he was right.  The wind was freakin' cold the next morning on our way out of town.  From now on, the Hitchcock movie will never be the same for me!

Happy Easter 2013

1968

 

Classic.  Happy Easter to you all.

Remembering Francis

I wasn't following the whole Pope selection gossip while the news pundits were so eagerly sharing it.  I was keenly aware that history had been made with Pope Benedict's resignation; a point I earnestly tried to share with my 7th and 8th graders who were less than impressed.  Regardless, I am very pleased with our new Pope Francis.  He's so stinkin' cute!  I'm sure people generally don't refer to the Pope in such a manner but I'll bet his mother did.  She was Italian, after all.

His selection and new found fame brings to mind our favorite Francis and his alma mater St. Bonaventure.  So, here's a rolling run down a lane that starts with the selection of a new Pope and I honestly don't know where it will end.

Here's a man who helped me understand the Franciscans to the extent that I do.  Although I would also note that it's difficult for me to separate Franciscans from St. Bonaventure as an institution and culture.  Father Crispin looks so happy in this picture and I loved that he would come to Walton to perform family weddings.  They must have maintained the friendship through letters and perhaps some phone calls as I don't recall him visiting otherwise.  It saddens me terribly that he died so tragically due to smoking.

And, of course, there's Francis P. Flynn.  I always felt loved and cherished by him and I miss him to this day.  He's the reason we all know how to spell Francis and the difference between that and Frances.

This is Mom's graduation from St. Bonas.  Weenie looks a little stilted in this picture, not his usual self.  Perhaps because his daughter will be getting married within a few months?

Playing cards is one of my favorite memories, even with the cigarettes and Genny!

Easter on Olive St in Silver Creek.  I imagine Nanny took the picture which I don't remember her doing very often but it's obvious that she must have taken her turn behind the lens with the movie camera as well as with the Brownie.

I hope you all have a good Easter--I'm sure it will be well covered for Pope Francis by the press but I'll just be happy remembering our Francis.  But here's another Easter memory for you--

This is a great picture of Chris "only" 55 years ago!  It must have been his first Easter.  I'm guessing Easter from the sharp duds.  These days we would never put a balloon in a crib but I guess we all survived.

Happy Easter.  We will be hugging babies in Gloucester.