This is for Mary Jane. I like to think she would have noticed the beauty in this too.
May 9 1996 was also a Thursday. I have to admit that it's freaking me out a little bit to realize that 1996 is the same on the calendar as 2013 which was the same as 1979. These are such pivotal years for me and they are falling into some kind of mystical alignment. I'm sure that's some kind of message that I haven't yet been able to decipher.
So that means May 3 1996 was also a Friday. Happy birthday to our Matthew! 17 is sweet. Enjoy.
But being 17 years old is pretty cool. That's a good year. Often students peak about that time athletically; they have or are getting driver's licenses; they might be earning enough pocket money to rent a limo for the prom; they might be anticipating graduation and the future. I was 17 when I went off to Geneseo. Now, I realize how young and naive I was. At the time, I was keenly aware of my naivete but not of my youth in that great big world of academia and saloons (18 was the legal drinking age in those days). It was a little bit of a struggle.
I was often the youngest in a group--perhaps by design to offset the role the oldest child plays within the family. I was young going off to college; I was impossibly young when I started teaching (22!); I am the youngest in my groups of teacher friends. But now I feel kind of alone and adrift since most of my friends have been enjoying retirement for a number of years now. Yes, I have younger friends at work but being the oldest once again among the teacher family is not all it is cracked up to be. Believe me.
So perhaps that is part of the lesson of the mystical 17 year cycle. Mary Jane was gone too soon-- she was too young. 34 years old (by the way that's 17 x 2) seems an impossibly young age at which to be done on this Earth and sometimes I think we all feel kind of alone and adrift without her. There's a hole that can never be filled except perhaps by the continuation of the family with Jess, Sean, Aiden, Breyen, Delaney, Amanda, Heather, Taylor, Tim, Tess and Tylee.
2 comments:
Thinking of Mary Jane alot this week. RIP Mary Jane.
I noticed that the days and dates lined up to. For some reason that has been on mind alot.
Not to take away from thinking of Mary Jane but it also brings thoughts of Mother's Day. Happy Mother's Day to all Mothers out there.
The look on Moms face when I saw her early that Sunday am will never leave me. I felt so bad for her that words can not explain. Then Jean walked in and told her, in a way only Jean could, that she was not going to sit around like this all day. It's Mother's Day and all your children are here. Something like that.
Like past Mother's Days this will be hard, but just a little harder for some reason this year.
I agree that you can hardly think of Mary Jane's passing without thinking of Mother's Day. They are bound together in my mind because of Mary Jane and the timing of her struggle, and her death.
I hadn't thought about Mom's face on that Mother's Day in a long time. It was heart breaking. I can't even imagine what she was going through. I'm greatful for Jean at that time. Mom needed her.
I also think of Mary Jane's girls, having too many Mother's Days without their Mom. We were so lucky to have our Mom until were were adults, and on our own. They weren't as lucky. We had Mary Jane much longer than they did too.
With all the promise of spring, and new life, our springs will always be linked with such loss. I hadn't even thought about the dates lining up in this 17 year cycle, but NOW I will!
We are lucky to have such a strong family bond. It helps us get through the tougher times, together. And even though we don't live near each other, I always ALWAYS feel closer in April and May. I hope MJ's girls can do the same. They have grown into such wonderful adults!
I love our family!
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