A gift from Mary Jane

I was looking for a way to pay Mary Jane a tribute for her birthday this year so I started looking through some journals and letters.  I haven't looked at these in a long time and for good reason.  They usually make me cry.  But this time I found something that spoke to me a little differently than before. 

This is part of a letter I got from Mary Jane the summer before she died.

 I thought you might like to see the summer report on the girls.

"I feel as though there is something waiting out there for me to do.  I just have to find out what it is." are the words that struck me differently this time.  After Mary Jane died, it was a difficult time for all of us.  Recovery was a long long road and it was on that journey that I made a promise to do what I could to help others in little ways through tough times. 

In the years that followed I tried to pay special attention to colleagues and friends who might be struggling with illness or difficulties.  I felt it important to try and support them at times that perhaps others were not.  For example, people generally get lots of support and attention in the days immediately surrounding a funeral or accident, but not always in the long term leading up or following.  So I did what I could.  I believe those efforts were appreciated but not in ways that I hoped might make a difference.  In ways that I wished I'd had available to me throughout the tough days. 

But recently I've had an experience that I think might have accomplished a little bit of what I was aiming for.  A friend's mother was suffering from terminal cancer and she was not only the closest geographically (two doors down) but also the only surviving child so she carried a very heavy burden.  This time, I felt like maybe I did help in ways that eased the load for her just a little.  Finally after all this time, I felt I'd made a little difference for someone else who faced the unimaginable. 

This is part of an article written by columnist Dinah Eng who used to appear in the USA Today.  I had cut it out and tucked it into my "Mary Jane things".  Today I think it speaks to Mary Jane wanting to find that something out there that was hers to do.

Yet it is in that act of being there for another that we truly find ourselves. 

I can't say I've found myself but I can say with certainty that Mary Jane taught me a great deal in a short time.

In the illness or death of another, each of us has the opportunity to learn more about ourselves.  Perhaps that is a small part of what Mary Jane was meant to do.  I'd like to think she'd be pleased with that.

So Happy Birthday Mary Jane and thank you for the gift.